Wait because in His time, so shall this night Soon end in joy

Sometimes I wonder why I am here...I wonder why I even moved here.
Most of the time I feel like I know I heard God's voice so clearly and other times I feel like I just wanted this so badly that maybe it was my voice. Deep down I know it was God and it still is. There was such a peace...such a confidence in this choice. That was how I knew it was God. I think Satan knows what my weaknesses are. He knows that I stress out easily and he knows that I doubt my decisions. And I feel as if this week he is attacking me with that. Not to say that I don't have any responsibility for my thoughts and feelings, but I think he is using them.

Right now any thought of the future freaks me out. I usually end up in tears. Where will I go in 2 and a half weeks?I have no place to live. I have no church community in Hartford. What am I going to do in the holiday season when everyone is with their family? There is so much to do and not enough time to do it. One day it will be winter...and I'm not prepared. Everyone has somebody (boyfriends, best friends, siblings, parents)

I had my orientation for my new job that starts in August today. On the drive home I couldn't help but cry. I am going to be a full time assistant with infants. My dream job? I thought so. But where does that leave me as far as ministry in the city? Most of my time will be spent at work just like it was in San Diego. I mean I hope and pray that I can make my work place another mission field also.

I don't want the rest of this update to be a downer. I just write all of this because I do better writing than I do expressing my feelings, thoughts and desires in speaking them.

So on a more positive note....

God is continuing to work here. Camp has been crazy this week but there are still those little moments that the kids get what we are learning. It is so evident that God is working in them. That they excitedly answer : "I do believe. I want to follow God! " Or kids who were so difficult at the start of summer are now gentle and obedient children. Even one of our street leaders who we weren't so sure was following Jesus volunteering to pray for our day and asked steve many questions after he gave salvation message to the children.


Thank you for those who continue to read this and pray. I shared earlier areas that I am having trouble with...so you can just pray for those things

I miss you san diego friends.

"Because your steadfast love is better than life, my lips will praise you." psalm 63:3