I feel your hands around my heart

It's been another week since I last updated this.

I feel like I can't even really explain everything that happened in the past week. To go into detail would be difficult because it is a blur. To be honest, last week was hard. Maybe one of the hardest weeks at camp we have had so far.
By Thursday all of us were ready for the weekend. I personally felt defeated and my heart was just really heavy.

I thank God for the little things. The other day this little boy named Micah was really upset. He was sitting on the steps with his head down. Jaheim, one of the other boys in my group, just started to tickle him. Micah couldn't help but to burst out in laughter. Those moments make my day. And being the emotional fountain I am, those moments also bring tears to my eyes.

We went to Rhode Island this weekend. It could not have come at a better time. Sometimes it's good to get out of the city. Hartford is draining sometimes...but I love it. We spent most of Friday sightseeing. Saturday we spent a good portion of the day at the beach. It was really nice to be in the sun and be with people. Later we went to a barbeque for a family at Steve's church. It was really cool but kinda hard to be at. It was pretty overwhelming because there were probalby almost 100 people there. We saw fireworks later at a dock in Steve's town. The next morning we went to church. I wish that church was in Hartford haha. This church comes closest so far to what I am looking for. We went out to lunch with some of Steve's friends. I had a really cool conversation with this young married couple. We talked a lot about churches and ministry and what that looks like in our lives. We stayed for their evening service that is focused more towards young adults. It was great. Such a sweet time of worship through the entire service. From the music to the sermon to the announcements God was glorified.

Yesterday we came back to reality. It went okay.
Today on the other hand...not so great. (for me anyway) It was halfway through camp and I was in tears. I can't really explain what happend well enough for it to make sense.

I don't want whoever reads this to think that things are not going well. It's just been a hard few days. It will get better. I believe that God is working in this city. Through these struggles I am learning and I am growing. My love for God and my love for others is increasing. I was very blessed last night to get a phone call from Kate. We talked for about an hour just about things going on in our lives and how God is working in us.

I am so thankful to be here. I am thankful for the community I live in. I am thankful that I have friends here who love me and hold me accountable to things. I am thankful to have the support of friends back home. I am thankful that I get to see the smiling faces of children each day!

I will say that one thing God is showing me is trust. It's humbling when you think that you are fully trusting God with everything in life but then something is revealed that has not been given up to God. I feel like God has also made my heart more sensitive to the needs of others. That my compassion for my coworkers, peers, friends and family is expanding.

For all who read this and who support me, I thank you!

I do have some prayer requests though...
Pray for the relationships between interns and our high school street leaders. There is some obvious tension between us. It's hard. I almost feel like I have a different point of view from some of the others. This has been approached with much negativity and I don't think it's helping the situation. My focus is to form a relationship with them. My focus is to love them and help them in any way possible
Pray for our location. We just got word that the church we are using for our program can no longer have us there. We need a place to meet after this week.
Pray that I may continue to keep Jesus at the center. That I may be continually reminded that I am here not for me but for Jesus!